About 10 days ago I received an email from Lady Brooks who apparently lives in the UK but with today's fluidity may be anywhere including my next door neighbor. She told me she was going to bequeath me quite a huge sum of money and that I should contact her solicitors or lawyers or whatever they call them over there. I was so grateful that she mentioned the amount in US dollars rather than confusing the issue by mentioning Pounds. The address she gave me for her attorneys was: consultantbrothers@yahoo.co.uk.

I immediately emailed consultant brothers advising them: Lady Brooks has sent me a message advising that I contact you. So here I am. Her email states she has willed $2,500,000 to me. As you are probably aware of the many scams that have been attempted via the Internet I am not going to hold my breath but if you should feel it necessary to send me a cheque for that amount I would appreciate it. Knowing of the Lady's beneficial views I am sure she has more than adequately reimbursed you for all costs. However, once I receive the money and realize your firm has been honest and upright I might be in the market for a solicitor in the UK.

Thanks, Jerry Firman

Needless to say I am thrilled to death. In order to help calm my jitters while awaiting dispersal of funds I have purchased a small but fuel efficient Rolls Royce and had it specially fitted with all the computer gear and communications equipment that I like to travel with. I have also purchased tickets and made reservations for the Caribbean this Winter instead of my usual stay in Texas.

I haven't been able to contact Consultant Brothers but I realize they are probably very busy. No telling how many other people Lady Brooks may have given money to and I am sure they got all her business. Oh, Oh, a UPS truck is coming in my lane now. I'll bet it is the money, after all, 2.5 million would make a pretty good size package. Just a minute.

Well, it wasn't the money but something almost as good. I ordered a shipment of gold bullion for which I will pay with the coming funds. I don't like to trust anyone, including the government, when it comes to my money. I want it in gold so it doesn't disappear in some inflative way.

In my younger days I would have been impatient with Consultant Brothers but I have grown more mature in such matters. I have almost eternal patience for such things. I will give them another week or two to send my money. No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth. If Lady Brooks was kind enough to bequeath me a fortune, at least I can treat her minions with respect. They have to be good guys if Lady Brook hired them. Nobody is better than her in my mind except maybe the guy who took my check for $25,000 to the bank so I would at least have an account to put my new money in. Will keep you posted. Isn't life wonderful?

Thanks for reading this. I can't wait to share some of my bounty with fellow Newsviners.